just tell him i said nine months
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
