people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
