She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
