Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
