did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
