u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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