I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
