Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
