So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
