Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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