holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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