We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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