i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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