I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
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