No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
