the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Randomize
