There is no way he is gay with that hair.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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