Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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