My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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