Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
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