escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
