hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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