You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
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