woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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