So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
