Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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