I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
