idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
