I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I need to calm my uterus...
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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