I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
