Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
