the only muscles i have these days is kegels
you will always have a special place in my vag
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
