I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
