Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
