we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Randomize
