Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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