so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
people are starting to question the shark bite story
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
