i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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