Betty ford says i'm here all night
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Randomize
