He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Randomize
