Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
