they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
