billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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