my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
he just fucked me for my cheese..
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
