omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
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