GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
