I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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