i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Dick very happy bro
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
