Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
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