Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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