so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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