Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
