i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
