He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
